Many lovely things happened today, as every day.
But today something stood out. Oh, well a few things.
I ventured out today to grab some sparkling water at the local gas station. I needed a break from writing and I like to sip this treat while relaxing in the woods.
As I was standing in line, a young man of about 17 got in line behind me. I had seen him as I walked in and he was wearing a hoodie with a baseball hat and he had a number of tattoos and piercings.
I was being silly as usual, tapping my debit card on the counter in time to whatever song I was singing under my breath as we waited in line. This caused it to fly out of my hand where it landed right at my feet. And then, in strange, synchronistic slow motion, it skidded away until it stopped perfectly in front of the young man’s boot.
He instantly bent to pick it up and as he rose to hand it to me, we had a moment.
He had the most pure and genuinely beautiful smile as he gave it back to me. I offered mine in return. And there was just something about this interaction that felt really, really nice. We both left glowing just a little bit.
I have learned that people can love doing things for me. Little things, big things.
There are real cowboys out here who enjoy sweeping doors open for me, helping me with my groceries and other such chivalrous things.
I love it.
My heart told me to come out here.
As I sat this evening in a field twinkling with the golden rays of the setting sun through the trees and the high prairie grass blowing in the wind, I feel as though I have entered some strange portal, that I am living in a new reality.
I have been living in a new reality teeming with angels and heavenly beauty since I first moved out here, alone, almost a year ago.
I gazed out at the mountains in the near distance. An eagle soared overhead in slow circles. The clouds out here are magic, with prismatic partial rainbows, the likes of which I never would even have known existed.
What if, I wonder, I actually did die out near the frozen lake this winter where I spent so many hours alone, testing my new limits, feeling my upgraded heart swell with joy amid the contractions of residual pain?
Maybe I am now a romantic old ghost wandering, caught between heaven and earth..