The sliver of a perfect rainbow slides into view under my bedroom door for just a moment and then retreats. An invitation. Hey you, it’s sunny outside.
There are no windows or mirrors in the room I have chosen for a bedroom in my house. At night, it is like a sleep chamber and once the small reading lamp is out, I am gone til morning where I then watch sleepily from the bed to see sunlight and the reflection from the spinning crystals in the window sill try to creep in under the door.
I got out my journal this morning. Wow. This past year will definitely have been the best and craziest chapter of my life. So far, anyway.
There is a new beginning in the air.
Last week I was in Calgary wrapping up my 9 month participation in the Calgary Association of Professional Speakers fast track program. I also had a dental appointment so I decided to stay a few days and treat myself, staying at my favorite new hotel.
That night I was getting ready to go out and when I went to put my tray outside my hotel room, I had two thoughts:
Of course, after I struggled the door open with my elbows, I dropped the tray, tried to not drop it and subsequently locked myself out of the room wearing just a bra and some yoga pants. The door across the way opened at that moment and an older, distinguished looking woman stopped midsentence and dead in her tracks, eyes widening.
“Oh, hi! I’m sorry, I got locked out. Can I use your phone to …hello?”
She slowly stepped out of the doorway and back into the room. Click.
A few doors down, I could hear some voices and two women were coming out of their room. They were a godsend of course. I perched on their desk while they sat on the 2 queen beds in the room. We chatted casually, laughing. There is something about me that makes strangers think I have answers about things, apparently even when I’m in my underwear in public. They ask me for advice. Most of the time, I like it.
We had a micro relationship, those women and I, in my almost naked vulnerability, waiting for the concierge in his top hat to let my half almost naked self back inside my room.
But that interaction with those ladies in the face of an awkward and potentially unpleasant situation has pretty much been the norm for me this year.
The things I have been through have been extremely crazy. But to me, they were actually pretty great because I got to meet and be supported by truly amazing people.
There is not one single thing I would have changed.
I heeded a call to head out here this year and it was the catalyst for a domino effect of strange occurrences, serendipitous opportunities and amazing connections.
Change is in the air and I have no idea what to expect next but I am excited.
Wow.. recently realized how much I miss writing here.
So much has changed.
Everything has changed.
I suppose that is what happens when you move to one of the most windy, wild and magical places in the Rocky mountains, dig your nails into the soil, have the sun warm your eyelids and let the wind tousle your hair and flirt with the hem of your dress.
Change happens when you face death with quiet acceptance, curiosity and gentleness knowing that if you are meant to live then nothing can take you.
I said OK LIFE, GOD, IF YOU WANT ME HERE, SHOW ME.
That was when everything lined up for me. Everyone showed up for me.
How are you so calm? I’d just smile.
Do you have any family to notify? No.
I am in the second phase of the upgrade I took on about 7 months ago.
My body has been upgraded emotionally and spiritually, now is the time to strengthen it physically. And all manners of the perfect teachers and inspirations in this regard keep finding their way into my life.
That is the final frontier for me, the one challenge that I have wrestled with since childhood. The health and strength of my body.
I abandoned it, unable to face the pain alone. I retreated into books and creating, which in it’s own way served me greatly. Now, I am accepting support and inspiration for me to get back into my body. To be strong in my creaturehood as a mammal on this earth in the prime of her life.
I watch the deer and the elk out here almost daily and their easy beauty and grace is something I never tire of. They just eat grass! And drink rainwater. They stick together, always eyeing me suspiciously.
I seek to touch that level of purity in just being a beast and a creature as far as my physicality is concerned. My prefrontal cortex can just take a back seat now.
I have so much to do.
Totally FREAKY secret YouTube hacks that WORK! This was so fun to make :)
Gosh I had to work to bring this together! Every time I would find a link (someone once had the whole thing on YouTube!), it would get removed under some copyright claim or another.
I tried searching to buy my own copy but it from the reviews, it seems like the one selling on Amazon is a scam of some type. And the Wikipedia entry says the whole thing is long out of print.
It was impossible to find the whole thing so I have put the only clips I could find together in sequence. It’s not perfect and there is a little bit missing, but believe me when I say it just is not out there.
Also, I know you’d think someone who had uploaded the Hobbit part I and the Hobbit part IV would have the parts in between somewhere on their account but nope! I checked all of that.
Just watch the clips in the order I have here and you will get the best experience currently possible. If anyone has found any new updates on any of this, please let me know!
I often get asked about the song that is sampled at the end of my videos. That song was remixed by my buddy DJ Simba, but this is the orignal.
It is basically the theme song for everything I am doing and sharing online.
“Baggage Reclaim would not be Baggage Reclaim if my story was, Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was perfect, her parents were perfect, life was perfect and she went on to experience everything her heart desires. The end.”
“Some of us get into the habit of feeling like underdogs, the odd ones out, the ‘unsaleables’ and often it’s because of who we were born to or where we born, or experiences we’ve had or ‘mistakes’ we’ve made along the way. That’s not fair. We can’t keep defining ourselves in this way. That charmed life we sometimes secretly wish for, was never going to grow us and strengthen us. Maybe it’s time for us to use these experiences in a different way because all of these experiences, carry illuminating positive lessons that when we heed them, we will not keep getting burnt by the same pattern over and over again. We will also know the length and breadth of our courage and know that when life puts us to the test again, as inevitably does, we are that much more equipped to not only deal with it but to also gradually bounce back.
I’m still standing. You’re still standing. We’re still standing.”