This is where I live. It snowed!!! the other day and I was incredibly happy.

Of course we are leaving in two days so I don’t get to revel in the chill and marvel over how good it is to feel the ember of Canadian wintercold start to sing in your bones, remembering.

I never feel ready to leave when we travel. I start to pack every day’s supplement pills into mini ziplocs and then listlessly wander the mall trying to find the perfect outfit in between bouts of randomly cleaning house and trying to book last minute hair appointments.

I love travelling in September. There is something special about it for me that I can’t quite pinpoint.

Had final words with a relative who played a big role in my life growing up. It feels right.

I realized she was the last remnant of my dysfunctional mother and her family present in my outer world. She still is fluent in that sad language that has become more and more foreign to me.

I also realized she was treating me the way I had treated my younger brothers in the past: brashly, with kneejerk over emotional reactions, unkind words, dismissing and belittling.

I decided to take her one coherent bit of advice and ‘let it go’. Feels great.

There was a gift in this, in seeing how far I have really come. I have worked so hard to overcome those genes. Painful, challenging, not sexy, not feel good work. It has paid off in spades.

If I’m honest, I confess that I really really wanted it to be different. And that made me sad. But basing the condition of things on someone else is a losing game. You either accept someone for who they are now or you don’t.

Many people talk about how the journey of self awareness can become a lonely one when you stop vibing with the people from your past. As you grow some people will grow with you, other’s won’t and some will even try to keep you back.

So, eight hours! My longest flight yet.

I have a feeling that great things are in store.

I am Harry Potter.