So strange to think there is now another city where I know my way around… and that that is LA. The cool parts, anyway. The energy here is somewhat jarring and it is overpopulated. But I have started to find moments and places of peace. Here I am in the Hollywood hills at sunset taking in a blessing. In the normal sized photo, you can make out the sign on the hill in the background through the mist.
I wish I had time to take more pictures when I am there. But I am spending sun up to sun down, hours on end with a team of the best therapists in the world, relearning how to be a human being together. We are going developmental age by developmental age, step by step, re experiencing the things we needed in childhood and never got, the things that happened that gave us bad belief systems, that form our early experience of life and carry on into adulthood. We experience it as a child and as a parent. We learn the muscles that correspond with the developmental stage. We learn that
children are often forced to choose between letting go either of connection or a part of themselves
Their choice usually sets up a lifetime of behaviors and life patterns that they will never understand the origin of. I was the child who let go of connection to keep in touch with myself. So at the age of 32, I now find myself deeply intuitive, creative and able to express my emotions but at the sake of maintaining any long term friendships.
I don’t mean to make that too simplistic… there is so so much more to it.
Our recent week of intensity has ended with Love and Sexuality at age 6. There is so much reorganizing and integration going on in my brain, body and heart.
I have so much that I want to share but it’s still downloading into my neural network. It will come soon enough.
My new findings may have caused me to lose my belief in love as we have come to know it, but the romance in my life will never die.